Thursday, October 29, 2009

Taco Bell Challenge part 2: Entrée Buffet Display


Thing2, driven mad by a miasma of small-chain TacoBell mercaptans and VOCs, a result of heating the ill-advised DoubleBurrito. 

Here, once again, Thing2 shows ingenuity by just asking for plain tortillas.  Thing1 spent fifteen minutes scraping off beans, rinsing under the sink, and getting cheese out from under the ol' fingernails.

Careful assembly is required for the all-important "presentation" category.  The over-all theme is quite visually arresting, almost hypnotic in its old-school, swirly way.


ShaZam!  Finished product, and a bitchin' hat.  No one would mistake this masterpiece for TacoBell roughage.




As mentioned before, here's Thing1 scraping beans off a tattered tortilla.  Thing1 was totally pissed when Thing2 didn't have to do this.




Cutting the "cleaned" tortillas into circles with the large biscuit cutter.  It's a good thing there were so many of these, as some of them weren't presentation-quality.




Spoon a small amount of the burrito cytoplasm back into the little rounds, and fold like tortellini.  Rinse; repeat; wipe hands on pants.










Bam!  Drizzle a little fire sauce, and off to the JUDGE.


















Final Scores:
Category
Thing 1
Thing 2
Brutality
3
2
un-TacoBell-ness
2
4
appearance
5
6
taste
3
2
presentation
4
6
Geoff-ness
2
5
originality
6
3
sexiness
4
4
showmanship
5
6
clarity
4
3
effervescence
3
3
racism
4
4

Winner: Thing2

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Taco Bell Challenge part 1: Let the Games Begin


The Taco Bell Challenge: prepare a three-course dinner for one using only $10 worth of ingredients from Taco bell. Originally, the loser had to drink three shots of olive oil, but we decided against that. The new punishment was to try to cross a log across Lacamas Lake while being pelted with burritos thrown by the winner, but the weather has turned cold and rainy, and no one wants a touch of the hypothermia. The new new punishment is so brutal we can't talk about it yet.

As a handicap, since Thing2's only been seriously cooking for about a year or so, Thing1 had to use the camp stove and cook in the dining room; Thing2 got to use the kitcken.


Thing1's first course was a tortilla soup made from: water, minced potatoes from a potato burrito (the starch helps to thicken the broth), chicken from a Fresco Ranchero Chicken Soft Taco, and some left-over beans from a bean burrito. A packet of salt and a couple packets of pepper, and we boil down.














Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Thing2 shows off by bringing an X-Acto to a burrito fight. Thing1 had this menu all planned out for a month, while Thing2 decided, possibly, at the cash register. The end result being that Thing2 noticed and used "new" items on the menu, like the blue corn crunchy taco. Not captured in photos is Thing2 using tortilla strips to cast hexagrams of the I Ching, divining the magnum opus, The Grasshopper Lies Heavy.


The completed masterpiece, a stark reminder that while there's always a little bit of the taco in your body, there's probably also a little bit of somebody in your taco.

Final Scores:
Category
Thing 1
Thing 2
Brutality
3
2
un-TacoBell-ness
5
1
appearance
4
6
taste
5
4
presentation
5
6
Geoff-ness
4
5
originality
5
-1
sexiness
6
3
showmanship
5
5
clarity
4
1
effervescence
4
3
racism
4
3

Winner: Thing1